Do you find yourself spending your days saying things like?
“Why do you do that?”
“You know better than that!”
“Why can’t you just listen?”
Then things usually escalate and someone yells, threats get made, things may be thrown, and the stress level rises. No one wants their days to be like this – you or your kids! Everyone wants things to be peaceful and in harmony.
In the book Positive Discipline by Nelsen, Erwin, and Duffy they share that as parents we should show love to our children in ways that:
- nurture accountability
- develop a sense of capability
- share encouragement so they can blossom into their full potential as a happy, contributing member of society.
Genuine love requires that you love your children enough to set wise boundaries, to say no when you must and help them learn to live peacefully and respectfully in a world filled with other people.
The steps to get your child to listen requires building a foundation of skills which include:
- Develop a vision and a plan for your family. Ask yourself – do my words and actions support what I value?
- Learn to be curious about why children misbehave.
- Be willing to make adjustments in the way you teach and respond. Understand the difference between discipline and punishment.
- Learn strategies and tools that help children cooperate.
When parents make small adjustments to the way they respond to their children, it creates a positive impact in their willingness to cooperate and build feelings of self-worth! Here are some suggestions you can try today that will make an impact immediately:
- Minimize (or even eliminate) the use of the word “no” as your automatic response. Instead – tell them what they can have or do.
- Child asks: “Can I go outside now?”
- Respond: “That would be fun, we can go outside after I finish feeding the baby.”
- Child asks: “Can I have candy now? (they just woke up!)
- Respond: “That does sound yummy! We can have some after lunch.”
- Don’t ask a question when compliance is expected.
- Parent: “Are you ready to go to bed?”
- Instead state: “It is time to get ready for bed.”
- Offer choices whenever you can. Children want control over their world so let them feel empowered and capable.
- “Do you want to wear the blue or red shirt?”
- “Would you like an apple or cheese for a snack?”
- “Would you like to go to the park with the big slide or the one with the water?”
These simple shifts can reduce the power struggles that lead to challenging behaviors.
If you would like to learn more about creative ways to increase harmony in your home, join me for a conversation on Tuesday, June 9 from 12:00 – 1:00 CDT for a FREE webinar!
In this webinar you will learn:
- Why children misbehave
- Why creating a vision and a plan is so important
- The difference between discipline and punishment
- Strategies to gain cooperation
Tuesday, June 9 from 12:00 – 1:00
Click below to register and receive the link